Today, a most surprising and curious thing happened. I woke
myself up by farting in my sleep. Now, if any of you have shared in this
experience, perhaps you can sympathise that it’s rather a confusing way in
which to wake. I have to admit, this was the first time I’ve been woken by my own
bodily alarm clock and I significantly preferred it to the much-heard jingles
that fill my every day. So, this time, awoken in such a surprising manner, I
smiled as a naughty schoolboy, gave a small laugh and awoke in a curiously good
mood, feeling rather impressed by the volume with which I could rapture and the
comic genius I could muster in the early seconds of my awakening. Now, although
this can be a much amusing and fun way in which to wake – and it really was – I
should share a word of caution. If you wish to enjoy the lasting gaiety with
which such a wake up provides, my advice would be to ensure it’s withheld for
nights alone, in the comfort of your own bed and not on a public train, in the
quiet carriage, surrounded by a number of others with whom you’re sharing a
twelve hour journey from Melbourne to Sydney. I can promise you, they will not
be impressed.
After what translated to be a rather embarrassing episode
and several more hours of snide looks toward me, I have arrived in Sydney for my
last two weeks in Australia, to share in the wonderful companionship of Tania.
And with conclusions and new beginnings, I thought it the perfect time to
reflect on my time here, the places I’ve been, people I’ve met and the country
as a whole, perhaps with one or two further embarrassing stories thrown into
the bargain.
So, I arrived in Sydney, Australia three months ago, on the
19th December, which looking back seems a lifetime ago. I’ve spent
the past months in Sydney with family, rural Victoria with good friends and
many new, Melbourne with many hours to myself and a library full of books,
Western Australia and Tasmania with Sophie, two wonderful kids and a fantastic
mother and in all that have had a whole series of wide, varied and
unforgettable adventures.
And with a heart full of adventure, joy and experience, I
think it only appropriate now I pass on some of what I’ve learned here in
Australia:
1)
People are the same all the world round. Accents
may change and words may seem foreign, but we’re all the same. Wherever I Travel,
whatever the fear and trepidation that builds before arrival, I’ve never found
it long to find a worldly commonality that unites us all and felt the warmth
and comfort in finding the familiar in the otherwise strange. And Australia has
been no exception. I’ll leave it all somewhat vague here, since it’s hard to
give specifics of individual contentedness, but for me, it’s been the casual conversations
with strangers and the want of people to learn of others, the show of
friendship and hospitality that sharing a beer provides, the love for the
outdoors and shared pleasure that sweat-filled days of hardened walking in beautiful
scenery gives, the universal wanton need for a coffee around 11 o’clock in the
morning and more than anything, what’s given me so much joy is seeing that the
world is still filled with good, thoroughly good people and that humour, love,
compassion, music and empathy pervade wherever you go. And although you may not
know the song or the words with which you are being affirmed or understand the
levels to which an Australian will push the limits of sarcasm in order to see
you smile, once you realise it all, you’ll see with resolute clarity that the
world is a magnificent place and that Australia is one of its shining jewels.
2)
Beards have contested merit. Yes, they provide a
source of satisfaction and enjoyment in the many hours of chin-stroking and
cheek scratching and yes, they give the wearer an outward appearance of power,
wisdom and character, and yes they provide many an hour of curious and interested
conversation but they also have a darker side. As I sit here and play with my
own beard between my thumb and forefinger, I feel wrong to criticise what gives
me so much joy, yet feel it necessary to give you all of the facts and a few
personal anecdotes as to their demerits. Firstly, they’re not the most
cooperative of companions. They may seem more steadfastly fixed in their manner
than most friends, yet nothing could be further from the truth. They have a
wild side, a life of their own, often in opposition to the wants of the body
they hold bearing on. So, let me tell you that beards, given the chance, will
jump at any opportunity to return to their wild and primitive self. On the
several weeks Sophie and I travelled along W.A. and Tasmania and during the
many days that we had little enough water to wash ourselves, my beard took to
achieve such a goal and revelled in growing cm by cm, thickening to the point
of bushiness and painting itself all manners of blonde, grey, ginger, brown and
black. On a midsummer night, huddled in my sleeping bag, in the Southern Forests
of Shannon National Park, he made his most clear attempt to regress so. Cuddled
in the warmth of our tent, filled with immense peace and contented fatigue, I
was made to scream in ardent ejaculation – no, not what you’re thinking - and
break the silence, which filled the acres of woodland, sit bold upright and
throw my fingers voraciously through my beard. In an attempt to leap and near
its transformation into untamed wildness, my beard took a step too far and that
evening, decided to allow a sizeable beetle to find dwelling in its cosy and
nestled abode, to which I fiercely protested. After a hastened eviction and a
few fervent execrations we have resolved our differences and I have tamed him
with the aid of Wilkinson and his mighty sword.
3)
Tasmania is one of the world’s best kept secrets
and no more so than to Australians. This has been one of my most delightful yet
simultaneously perplexing realisations. Tasmania in every aspect is outstanding,
with some of the world’s best beaches, scenery that will make your jaw ache
from its continual dropping, towns and cities that superbly balance excitement with
warmth and a friendly population that epitomize the very best of their country.
It is all that and so much more, yet it seems that hardly anyone has noticed.
The world seems to carry on and Australia too, without a look its way and I
feel I need to wrong such an injustice. If you come to Australia, please don’t ignore
Australia’s 6th state, the ‘Natural State’, the ‘Island of
Inspiration’ and stick to the touristic lure of solely visiting Sydney for its
harbour and Queensland for its ample supplies of vodka and beaches. There is so
much to be discovered in the off-the-beaten-track exploration and Tasmania
provides a second to none location with which to derail yourselves. Go there, just
go. Walk the Overland Trail, see the waves crash on the steep 1000ft sides of
its peninsula cliffs, try its culinary delights and organic home-produce and
experience all that is has to offer. And for all those Australians who live in
the mainland five states, I implore you to buy a ticket for $59 and go see the
crown of your nation, hidden away and tucked under the carpet of Victoria.
4)
And fourthly – and I’ll leave you with this – travel
light, carefree and spontaneous, talk to strangers and take every opportunity
that comes your way, try new things and especially things that scare you, live
in the moment and take note of all the minute happenings upon your travels and
most importantly, never, I repeat never, plan your travels by the aid of a Lonely
Planet. Travelling is and should be a personal experience, tailored to your
wants and desires, which effects and allows you to reflect upon whom you are
and through experience, see with refined clarity all that you wish to be. And
so, never follow the path of someone before you, dot-to-dotting a journey
planned by someone else, focussing on a tick list of sights to see. Live,
experience and see, genuinely see all that you travel, and you won’t regret
refusing the tempting ease and simplicity of buying a one-size-fits-all guide
to wherever it is you wish to explore.
Never stop exploring.
