Four lessons learned from Australia

Today, a most surprising and curious thing happened. I woke myself up by farting in my sleep. Now, if any of you have shared in this experience, perhaps you can sympathise that it’s rather a confusing way in which to wake. I have to admit, this was the first time I’ve been woken by my own bodily alarm clock and I significantly preferred it to the much-heard jingles that fill my every day. So, this time, awoken in such a surprising manner, I smiled as a naughty schoolboy, gave a small laugh and awoke in a curiously good mood, feeling rather impressed by the volume with which I could rapture and the comic genius I could muster in the early seconds of my awakening. Now, although this can be a much amusing and fun way in which to wake – and it really was – I should share a word of caution. If you wish to enjoy the lasting gaiety with which such a wake up provides, my advice would be to ensure it’s withheld for nights alone, in the comfort of your own bed and not on a public train, in the quiet carriage, surrounded by a number of others with whom you’re sharing a twelve hour journey from Melbourne to Sydney. I can promise you, they will not be impressed.

After what translated to be a rather embarrassing episode and several more hours of snide looks toward me, I have arrived in Sydney for my last two weeks in Australia, to share in the wonderful companionship of Tania. And with conclusions and new beginnings, I thought it the perfect time to reflect on my time here, the places I’ve been, people I’ve met and the country as a whole, perhaps with one or two further embarrassing stories thrown into the bargain.

So, I arrived in Sydney, Australia three months ago, on the 19^th December, which looking back seems a lifetime ago. I’ve spent the past months in Sydney with family, rural Victoria with good friends and many new, Melbourne with many hours to myself and a library full of books, Western Australia and Tasmania with Sophie, two wonderful kids and a fantastic mother and in all that have had a whole series of wide, varied and unforgettable adventures.

And with a heart full of adventure, joy and experience, I think it only appropriate now I pass on some of what I’ve learned here in Australia:

1)      People are the same all the world round. Accents may change and words may seem foreign, but we’re all the same. Wherever I Travel, whatever the fear and trepidation that builds before arrival, I’ve never found it long to find a worldly commonality that unites us all and felt the warmth and comfort in finding the familiar in the otherwise strange. And Australia has been no exception. I’ll leave it all somewhat vague here, since it’s hard to give specifics of individual contentedness, but for me, it’s been the casual conversations with strangers and the want of people to learn of others, the show of friendship and hospitality that sharing a beer provides, the love for the outdoors and shared pleasure that sweat-filled days of hardened walking in beautiful scenery gives, the universal wanton need for a coffee around 11 o’clock in the morning and more than anything, what’s given me so much joy is seeing that the world is still filled with good, thoroughly good people and that humour, love, compassion, music and empathy pervade wherever you go. And although you may not know the song or the words with which you are being affirmed or understand the levels to which an Australian will push the limits of sarcasm in order to see you smile, once you realise it all, you’ll see with resolute clarity that the world is a magnificent place and that Australia is one of its shining jewels.

2)      Beards have contested merit. Yes, they provide a source of satisfaction and enjoyment in the many hours of chin-stroking and cheek scratching and yes, they give the wearer an outward appearance of power, wisdom and character, and yes they provide many an hour of curious and interested conversation but they also have a darker side. As I sit here and play with my own beard between my thumb and forefinger, I feel wrong to criticise what gives me so much joy, yet feel it necessary to give you all of the facts and a few personal anecdotes as to their demerits. Firstly, they’re not the most cooperative of companions. They may seem more steadfastly fixed in their manner than most friends, yet nothing could be further from the truth. They have a wild side, a life of their own, often in opposition to the wants of the body they hold bearing on. So, let me tell you that beards, given the chance, will jump at any opportunity to return to their wild and primitive self. On the several weeks Sophie and I travelled along W.A. and Tasmania and during the many days that we had little enough water to wash ourselves, my beard took to achieve such a goal and revelled in growing cm by cm, thickening to the point of bushiness and painting itself all manners of blonde, grey, ginger, brown and black. On a midsummer night, huddled in my sleeping bag, in the Southern Forests of Shannon National Park, he made his most clear attempt to regress so. Cuddled in the warmth of our tent, filled with immense peace and contented fatigue, I was made to scream in ardent ejaculation – no, not what you’re thinking - and break the silence, which filled the acres of woodland, sit bold upright and throw my fingers voraciously through my beard. In an attempt to leap and near its transformation into untamed wildness, my beard took a step too far and that evening, decided to allow a sizeable beetle to find dwelling in its cosy and nestled abode, to which I fiercely protested. After a hastened eviction and a few fervent execrations we have resolved our differences and I have tamed him with the aid of Wilkinson and his mighty sword.

 For those of you who haven’t yet tried your hand at growing a faithful face companion, I don’t hesitate in suggesting you give it a go but please heed my warnings and be sure not to fall into the abysses of allowing your beard to take over alpha standings and to sub-lease lodgings to insects and appropriately sized residents.

3)      Tasmania is one of the world’s best kept secrets and no more so than to Australians. This has been one of my most delightful yet simultaneously perplexing realisations. Tasmania in every aspect is outstanding, with some of the world’s best beaches, scenery that will make your jaw ache from its continual dropping, towns and cities that superbly balance excitement with warmth and a friendly population that epitomize the very best of their country. It is all that and so much more, yet it seems that hardly anyone has noticed. The world seems to carry on and Australia too, without a look its way and I feel I need to wrong such an injustice. If you come to Australia, please don’t ignore Australia’s 6^th state, the ‘Natural State’, the ‘Island of Inspiration’ and stick to the touristic lure of solely visiting Sydney for its harbour and Queensland for its ample supplies of vodka and beaches. There is so much to be discovered in the off-the-beaten-track exploration and Tasmania provides a second to none location with which to derail yourselves. Go there, just go. Walk the Overland Trail, see the waves crash on the steep 1000ft sides of its peninsula cliffs, try its culinary delights and organic home-produce and experience all that is has to offer. And for all those Australians who live in the mainland five states, I implore you to buy a ticket for $59 and go see the crown of your nation, hidden away and tucked under the carpet of Victoria.

4)      And fourthly – and I’ll leave you with this – travel light, carefree and spontaneous, talk to strangers and take every opportunity that comes your way, try new things and especially things that scare you, live in the moment and take note of all the minute happenings upon your travels and most importantly, never, I repeat never, plan your travels by the aid of a Lonely Planet. Travelling is and should be a personal experience, tailored to your wants and desires, which effects and allows you to reflect upon whom you are and through experience, see with refined clarity all that you wish to be. And so, never follow the path of someone before you, dot-to-dotting a journey planned by someone else, focussing on a tick list of sights to see. Live, experience and see, genuinely see all that you travel, and you won’t regret refusing the tempting ease and simplicity of buying a one-size-fits-all guide to wherever it is you wish to explore.

Never stop exploring.