A trip into the Blue Mountains

Yesterday, along with the wonderful company of my new found Australian cousin, Lauren, I headed West of Sydney for a day into the Blue Mountains; an area of forestland, mountains and waterfalls covering an expanse of 10,000km2. After a brief drive and a few interesting anecdotes from our tour guide - which I will momentarily pass on - we arrived on Flat Rock, a sandstone cliff ledge where evidence of Aboriginal toolmaking can be found. Aborigines, although you'll struggle to find such details unless you directly ask, have lived in Australia for over 22,000 years and have left their mark, quite literally in this case, in nearly every pocket of the country. I would, however, not think anything less if you spent a holiday here, a few months here, or even a lifetime without knowing anything more than what I just said, since the 18th century and colonialism sought to enlighten their primitive ways, create the country anew in the image of crown and country and as such 'history' seems to have only began 200 years ago here. Now although Aboriginees seem a largely forgotten people here, forming a social underclass in contemporary society, parts of their oral, story-telling history seems to have been maintained - not celebrated but maintained - in what unfortunately looks more like a tourism scheme than a celebration and appreciation of their way of being. If any of you have been to Uluru, you might understand what I felt when observing the gratuitous, over-commercial visitors' centre overlooking The Three Sisters. Uluru, the most sacrosanct of Aboriginal landmarks is akin to that of the Western Wall, Mecca and the Vatican for other cultures, yet as far as I know, passing tourists are forbidden to climb on such structures and make inappropriate photographs... Yet in perhaps the most metonymic of statements of how Aboriginal culture is thought upon here, you are most welcome to try your hand at both such tasks. And so I found myself yesterday,  looking out at The Three Sisters thinking of all of the above and the vulgarity of touristic voyeurism before me. Once however, Lauren and I took off on a cliff top walk, away from the crowds, the sheer scale and beauty of the park was simply overwhelming and we found our pace slow incrementally with our cameras at hand, the viewpoints before us and the stunning scenery that surrounded us. 


Now folks, time for a little anecdote. Although it pains me to tell it, since it means gratifying the knowledge of the most condescending man I've ever had the displeasure of meeting, it's rather an interesting one - so here you go:


In the eternal debate of whether the left is right or right is right, in matters of automotive transport, I can finally conclude the ongoing battle. So, let me start by saying the left is undeniably the right way to go about driving. Let us start with a little experiment shall we? How many of you are left handed here...? Yep, so we're largely looking at a majority of right-handers if I counted correct - and that seems to be more or less the norm worldwide. So imagine travelling a few hundred years ago, across a dusky mud-track, horses saddled and carts affixed. Now these roads weren't always the most friendly of places. These tracks, not all that wider than a single carriage, would progress on the centre of the road and when coming upon a vehicle travelling toward them in the opposite direction, would often have to exercise caution and determine the threat of the oncoming persons. Given that not all were the most friendly of gents, horseman and carts would cautiously move to the left hand-side, wield their sword in expectancy of attack and all things settled, return to the centre once again. It would seem that before Napoleonic emergence, almost every country and countryman did as above, using the left-hand side. But of course, in opposition to anything British in nature and like all men with height deficiency, a will to leave a lasting mark on all that he touched, Napoleon changed such a system and spread the right is right way of road travel to all corners of his colossal empire. However, one has only to look at Japan - and I remember having the discussion as to why they drive on the left just a few days ago with friends - and note that the country despite British or French influence has always historically utilised the left-hand side of the road. It would seem that logically, historically and apolitically the left is assuredly in the right but with Napoleon's vast reach, the world remains 65% illogical and very much in the wrong. Just another anecdote that leaves us all thinking "damn those frog-faced bastards".

Merry Christmas and lots of love x